Sugar, sugar.

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While the majority of the world sees Melania as a ‘slut’, I take my hat off to the intelligent social climber from Slovenia who is now one of the most powerful women in the USA.

So, it has been a few days now, and humanity is slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that an orange-faced reptile is going to be the leader of a major power in the Western World. Even worse still, people actually voted for him to be there. (Although people also voted for Harambe, so…. )

But I’m not going to go into that now, otherwise I will be here angrily smashing away at the keyboard for years. However, what this has done to people is really quite interesting, and this event will be remembered as a major catalyst for change, of all kinds. Conversations that have been bubbling under the surface and spoken in hushed tones for years, are now being screamed in faces and sprawled across the internet. Fingers are being pointed and violent attacks are occurring to people in minority groups everywhere.

One of the things that grabbed my attention was the scandal and slut-shaming of the new First Lady, Melania Trump. Now this is just pure speculation, however there is no doubt in my mind that she was a sugar-baby who managed to land her whale, and having a sex worker as the FLOTUS is pretty damn cool in my opinion. I mean, come on. What kind of stunning, intelligent, social climber would want to suck face with a man who has been likened to a microwaved circus peanut? NOT FOR FREE.

So what is a sugar baby? How are they a sex worker? How do I marry a man with a lot of money and power?

Basically a Sugar Baby is a person who dates someone (a Sugar Daddy) for money. They might organize a pay-per-meet or an allowance, or payment of other kind, but there is always an exchange. In return they commit their time, attention, conversation skills and most of the time there is a sexual component as well.

I entered the sugar bowl a couple of years ago now after a few of the ladies that I worked with recommended that I get onto a couple of Sugar Dating sites, because I was well known at work for being friendly and holding a decent conversation even with people no one could stand being around for more than five seconds. I idolized famous sugar babies and wanted to work on my manipulation and seduction game, so I agreed and started going on dates, with variable results. I maintained a couple of short term arrangements, seeing a couple of men twice a week for a meal and drinks, but the amount of effort and time that went into the process was less than what I was getting as an escort, so I stopped. I take my hat off to the women that do well out of it though, it is an exhausting process and full of dangerous and predatory douchebags. *shudders*

I might face a little bit of backlash for this, because established Sugar Babies are well known for their rejection of the sex industry, claiming that they are above such repugnant practices, and glamorizing their lifestyle on social media, creating this weird whorearchy among the community.

(I don’t think it’s physically possible for me to roll my eyes any further.)

Let’s face it though, at the end of the day we are all doing the same thing, you’re just a hoe in a different hat, honey.

Can anyone do it?  

Yes and no. There is a lot of pressure to maintain a Eurocentric standard of beauty, however more importantly it is your personality and commitment that will get you further. Street smarts and a strong sense of personal boundary is essential, as you will come across men who are double your age and have double the amount of experience in manipulation, which is scary for the young women that they are preying on. Emotional intelligence and social skills are another necessity, as you endure first date after first date with accountants, investment bankers and architects, all with the personality of a brick wall. There is a reason that these men pay for female company, stereotypically misogynistic, judgmental, shallow workaholics with no sense of humor and no social skills.

Like I said, I take my hat off to those ladies who brave the bowl for a little sugar, and none deserve our respect and admiration more than the woman who puts up with the embodiment of everything that is wrong with old white men. You go Melania.

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