Melancholic musings

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I turned my face towards the window and the hairs on my arms stood to meet the sun. It was a welcome change from the sterile hotel room that I had confined myself to for the last couple of days. I stood naked on my balcony for the longest time, savoring my coffee with my eyes closed, relishing in the solitude and silence. For the first time in years, I feel truly alone. It is bittersweet, and I smile at the memory of what has been, and the anticipation of what is still to come.

As some of my close friends know, I have parted ways with two long term partners, lost my home, car and all of my possessions bar my clothes and a few bits and pieces, all within the last couple of weeks. Everything that I knew had exploded and I am still standing among the wreckage, trying to figure out which parts of myself that I need to pick up before I continue on my perpetual adventure. There is still so much that I need to deal with; the guilt for the people I have hurt, the loss of the life that I had grown all too comfortable in, accepting the shift that has been slowly happening for a long time now.

 

Everything is as it is supposed to be.

Everything is as it is supposed to be.

Everything is as it is supposed to be.

Everything is as it is supposed to be.

 

 

I am not looking for sympathy. Actually, this is the best thing that could have happened and the opportunity and freedom that I find myself with is exhilarating. It is only now that I have lost everything that I realize what I truly need, and that I am blessed with it in abundance.

My friends say that I am handling the change remarkably well.

I smile because I am immersed in love.

Bring on the next adventure.

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One thought on “Melancholic musings

  1. If you need anything, let me know ❤

    Honestly, there have been times in my life when the entire slate was wiped clean through one circumstance or another, and often once the initial shock is over it has felt like rising through water and surfacing, taking a clean breath of air and opening my eyes to the light.

    Like

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